The thought of starting a blog, or some other outlet for sharing my writings, has been on my heart for several years. I have always loved writing. It is one of the primary ways I worship and express my love for God. Whether it’s devotionals, prayer journals, or even poems, I have always loved putting ink to paper and letting the words flow out. I have felt the calling from God to share my writings in the past and have always let fear stop me from doing it. I finally answered the call at the end of 2020. In the year that shook most of us to our core I set out to start the blog that you are currently reading. I would not let my fears stand in my way anymore.
My two main fears of starting this blog were the fear of failure and the fear of success. It may sound weird since those are opposites but I will explain. The fear of failure is what stops most of us from answering God’s call. What if no one likes my writings? What if I make a mistake? My reputation could be tarnished and no one would take me seriously. Maybe my writings are just God’s words for me, not meant to be shared with others. Those are just a few of the excuses I used to put off God’s calling. Honestly, I still feel some of those fears but through it all I am trusting God and doing as I feel called to do.
The fear of success has caused me to really concentrate on my motives and goals for this blog. Is this for my own success and my own glory? Or is this for the Glory of God and to spread His love? Some of my first thoughts of starting a blog went like this: “a blog would be a great way to start sharing my writings. Maybe I could get my name out there and one day really define myself as a writer and do something bigger. That’s the dream.” My motivation was to make myself famous, or maybe even one day profit from my writings. However, that was not God’s calling for me. Thoughts like those have stopped me in the past from sharing because truly that is not my desire. My desire with this blog is to make God famous, not me. Obviously, in order for that to happen my blog must be successful, but I have always been fearful that if it does become successful that I would build a sense of pride. Each week I must focus on keeping my intentions pure. This is for Your glory God, not mine.
One of my favorite Bible study tools is the YouVersion Bible App. If you don’t have it I highly recommend you download it. One feature I love is the daily Bible verse. I have it set up to deliver me the daily Bible verse every morning at 6 AM, so that the word of God is one of the first things I read when I get up. This past Saturday the verse of the day was Psalm 19:14, which reads: “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
This verse embodies the same message that I use in my prayer before I sit down to write. I pray: “May the words I write be your words God, not mine. For you glory Lord, not mine. According to your will Lord, not mine.” That is why I write, all for God’s glory, praise, and honor, not mine.
